26.
Did you hear about the farmer who counted 396 cows in his field?
When he rounded them up, he had 400.
25.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
24.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
23.
Did you hear about the overeducated circle?
It has 360 degrees!
22.
Did you hear that old math teachers never die?
They just lose some of their functions.
21.
Have you heard the latest statistics joke?
Probably.
20.
What do the moon and a dollar have in common?
They both have four quarters.
19.
What’s the warmest part of a room?
The corner. It’s always 90 degrees!
18.
How do you make seven even?
Subtract the “S.”
17.
How does a mathematician plow fields?
With a pro-tractor.
16.
I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig, I’ll even do statistics.
But graphing is where I draw the line!
15.
Did you hear about the math teacher with a piece of graph paper?
I think she was plotting something.
14.
What are the three kinds of people in this world?
Those who can count and those who can’t.
13.
What 10 things can you always count on?
Your fingers.
12.
What did one math book say to the other?
Don’t bother me. I’m full of problems!
11.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Ge-om-e-try! (Gee, I’m a tree!)
10.
What did the algebra book say to the calculus book?
“Stop deriving me crazy!”
9.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
8.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
“Hex-a-gon.”
7.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
6.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
5.
What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm?
Make snow angles!
4.
What do you call more than one L?
A parallel.
3.
What do you call people who like tractors?
Protractors.
2.
What do you get when you cross a calculator and a friend?
Someone you can count on.
1.
What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
Pi in the sky.
