Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q: Why do melons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe!
Q: Why do plants go to therapy?
A: To get to the root of their problems.
Plant Jokes
Q: Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
A: Because you shouldn’t press your luck.
Q: Why was the farmer super embarrassed?
A: He wet his plants.
Child: Do trees poop?
Teacher: Where do you think #2 pencils come from?
Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern?
Asking for a frond.
Q: What’s a nervous palm tree called?
A: A sweaty palm.
Q: Did you hear the story about the flower who went on a date with another flower?
A: It’s a budding romance!
Q: How did the flower get over the fight she had with her sister?
A: She rose above it.
Q: How did the tree ask out his crush?
A: He said, “Wood you be mine?”
Q: How did the tree make so many friends?
A: It branched out.
Q: How do flowers greet each other in the morning?
A: “Hey, bud! How’s it growing?”
Q: How do plants keep things under control?
A: They weed out unnecessary drama and ask troublemakers to leaf.
Q: How do roses kiss?
A: They plant one on the other’s cheek.
Q: How do you identify a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark.
Q: How does a farmer host a garden party?
A: He turnips the beet.
Q: How does a flower whistle?
A: By using its tulips.
Q: How does a plant answer the phone?
A: “Aloe?”
Can I sleep over at your house?
I don’t need mushroom.
Q: How does an old fern begin its stories?
A: “Well, bracken the day…”
Q: How is a flower similar to the letter A?
A: A bee goes after it.
Q: What dating app does a tree use?
A: Timber
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after planting a tree?
A: May the forest be with you.
Q: What did one cactus say to the other cactus?
A: “You’re looking sharp!”
Q: What did one hungry plant say to the other plant?
A: I could use a light snack.
Q: What did one plant lady say to another plant lady?
A: “Botany plants lately?”
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
A: “Where’s popcorn, mom?”
Q: What did the boy plant say to his girlfriend?
A: “I’ll never leaf you.”
Q: What did the farmer say to the crushed grapes?
A: Stop wining.
Q: What did the flower ask the sad flower?
A: “Are you doing bouquet?”
Q: What did the flower decide to study in college?
A: STEM.
Q: What did the flower tell the other flower after she told a joke?
A: “I was just pollen your leg!”
Q: What did the girl cactus say to the boy cactus?
A: “I’m so glad we pricked each other!”
Q: What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
A: “Oopsie daisy!”
Q: What did the introverted plant say to visitors that came to his door?
A: Leaf me alone.
Q: What did the plant say to her sister when she came home?
A: “Long thyme no see.”
Q: What did the plant tell the DJ?
A: “Turnip the volume!”
Q: What did the rose text her best bud?
A: “I’m all dressed up and have nowhere to grow!”
Q: What did the sunflower say to her BFF when she reached 5 feet tall?
A: “You grow, girl!”
Q: What did the tree say to encourage his friend?
A: I’m rooting for you!
Q: What did the watermelon say to his crush?
A: “You’re one in a melon!”
Q: What do you call the leftover bits of lettuce at the bottom of your salad bowl?
A: The last romaines.
Q: What do you do after you take a picture of a flower?
A: You wait for it to photosynthesize.
Q: What do you say to the cacti storyteller?
A: I’m on pins and needles.
Q: What garden plant is always cold?
A: A chili.
Q: What happens when a flower blushes?
A: It turns rosy.
Q: What has no fingers but lots of rings?
A: A tree.
Q: What is the largest number an Irish plant can count till?
A: Tree.
Q: What part of a flower has the most friends?
A: The bud.
Q: What tree will fit in your hand?
A: A palm tree.
Q: What’s a cheerleading herb called?
A: An encourage mint.
Q: What’s green and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley.
Q: What’s the fiercest type of flower?
A: A dandelion!
Q: Where do flowers go when they need to recharge after a long day?
A: The power plant.
Q: Where do vegetables go after work for drinks?
A: The salad bar.
Q: Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
A: Because they know how to nip it in the bud!
Q: Why are trees so tall and thin?
A: They’re light eaters.
Q: Why couldn’t the flower ride its bicycle to school?
A: It lost its petals.
Q: Why did the celery go to the police station?
A: Because it was being stalked.
Q: Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?
A: Because he wanted a power plant.
Q: Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
A: It was looking very green.
Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because it ran out of juice.
Q: Why did the plant go to the psychiatrist?
A: To get to the root of the problem.
Q: Why do trees have so many friends?
A: They branch out.
Q: Why does Yoda grow such pretty plants?
A: He has green thumbs!
Q: Why is everyone dancing?
A: Because the farmer dropped a beet.
Q: Why is it good to talk to your herbs about your problems?
A: Because you can get sage advice.
The tree was depressed all summer.
It was a re-leaf when spring came around
Watson: Sherlock, what is your favorite plant?
Sherlock: A lemon tree, my dear Watson.
