Q: How do you get a one-armed Pirate out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
Pirate Jokes
Q. What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
A. Aye matey years old!
Q. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A. A pumpkin patch.
Q. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
A. Captain Hooky!
Q. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?
A. The plank!
Q: How come pirates take forever to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they spend years at C!
Q: How much did the pirate’s earrings cost?
A: “Arrr, a BUCK-AN-EAR!”
Q: How come you can never call a pirate?
A: They always leave their phones off the hook.
Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.
Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!
Q: How do you save a dying pirate?
A: C-P-arrrrrrr
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.
Q: What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A: I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What did the pirate say about his girlfriend?
A: “She had me at ‘Ahoy!”
Q: What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer?
A: Shiver me timbers!
Q: What did the sea say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie.
Q: What do you call 3.14 men out at sea?
A: ‘Pi’-rates
Q: What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
A: Robin Hook!
Q: What do you call a pirate with four eyes?
A: Piiiirate!
Q: What do you call it when two pirates call it a draw?
A: A stale-matey!
Q: What does a pirate name his dog?
A: The Plank. That’s why he’s always walking The Plank.
Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.
Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.
Q: What made the pirate so irate?
A: Someone took away the “p.”
Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and shakes and quivers?
A: A nervous wreck
Q: What’s a pirates favourite part of a song?
A: The hook!
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite music genre?
A: Answer: Arrrrrr & B
Q: Whats a pirates favourite drink?
A: Boo-tea
Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
A: Right where ye left him.
Q: Where do one-legged pirates go for brunch?
A: IHOP!
Q: Where do pirates go for a drink?
A: The sandbar
Q: why are pirates pirates?
A: because they just arrrrr
Q: Why are pirates the best singers?
A: They can hit the high C’s.
Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.
Q: Why did the pirate buy an eye patch?
A: Because he couldn’t afford an iPad!
Q: Why did the pirate go on vacation?
A: He needed a little arrrr and arrr.
Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Q: Why was the pirate sad when his parrot left?
A: It gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: Why’d the pirate join the gym?
A: To improve his booty
