How do you know when something is officially lost?
Your mom can’t find it.
What three words solve dad’s every problem?
Ask your mother.
Why don’t Moms wish they could sleep like a baby?
Because they wish they could sleep like a dad.
Mom Jokes
What’s the fastest way for a mom to get her kids’ attention?
Sit down and look relaxed.
What’s the only thing kids can’t sleep through?
The creaking of the floor when a mom sneaks away.
What do magnets and children have in common?
They both get stuck to things they’re not supposed to.
What kind of boat is barely staying afloat yet somehow manages to function?
The mother ship.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday?
They shell-abrate.
How do you put a baby spaceship to sleep?
You rocket.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
“Where’s Pop-corn?”
What did the digital clock say to its analog mother?
“Look, Mom! No hands!”
What did the mama cow say to her calf?
“It’s pasture bedtime.”
What did the Mama tomato say to the baby tomato?
“Ketchup!”
What did the mom dog say after a long day with the kids?
Boy, that was ruff.
What did the mom say to her teenager when she asked her to keep a secret?
Mum’s the word.
What did the mother alpaca say to her hungry baby on their way to grab a bite?
Don’t worry, dear, alpaca snack.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
“It’s time to go to sweep!”
What did the panda give his mommy?
A bear hug.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw?
Tracy.
What do you call a short mom?
A mini-mum.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year?
Mummy’s day.
What’s momma bear’s favorite baseball team?
The Cubs.
When does a computer function best?
When it listens to its motherboard.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Their kids have to play inside!
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom?
Because she left the phone off the hook.
