Four men were sitting in a psychiatrist’s waiting room when the first man strikes up a conversation.
“Say, friends, I was summoned here because the doctor wants to examine me” the first man began.
He continued:
“I am Tutankhamun – King Tut – the greatest ruler of the eighteenth Egyptian dynasty. The doctor is extremely interested in my greatness.”
The second man straightened in his chair, a haughty expression settling upon his features.
“That’s nothing!” he said. “I’m Julius Caesar, the most powerful man Europe has ever seen,” he says with a perfectly straight face.
The first man looks impressed. “Wow, you are an amazing conqueror!” he announces to the whole waiting room.
Then the third man pipes up:
“That’s nothing. I’m Genghis Khan. I founded the Mongolian Empire!”
The first man is once again shocked and in awe.
To be in the presence of not one but two other great rulers! He was truly among his equals.
“Genghis Khan!? You’re a feared dictator,” said the first man. “I bow down to you, oh great one!”
Not to be outdone, the third man speaks up:
“Oh, please. That’s nothing! I am Napoleon, the great emperor himself,” he declared, his voice ringing with authority. “The doctor insisted that I come here to study my greatness.”
The first man’s eyebrows shot up even higher, his interest piqued by his companion’s bold proclamation.
“Napoleon, you say?” he mused, leaning forward. “And how, pray tell, do you know this to be true?”
A self-assured smile spread across the second man’s face as he replied,
“Why, God himself told me so.”
No sooner had the words left his lips than a booming voice echoed from the fourth man, on the far side of the room:
“NO, I DIDN’T!”
More Psychiatry Jokes
1. Lying on the Couch
A patient walks into a psychoanalyst’s office and ask:
“So, how does this work? Do I just lie on the couch?”
The psychoanalyst responds:
“Actually, it works much better if you tell the truth.”
2. The Dog and the Psychiatrist
A man visits his GP and says:
“Doc, I think I’m a dog!”
The doctor responds:
“You should see a psychiatrist. I’ll set up an appointment.”
The man responds:
“But, Doc, I can’t see a psychiatrist. I’m not allowed on the couch!”
3. The Tense Encounter
A man shows up for his appointment with his psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist says:
“Well, what seems to be the problem?”
The Man says:
“Well, Doc, I’m a teepee! No, I’m a wigwam! No, I’m a teepee! No, I’m a wigwam! No, I’m a teepee…”
The doctor responds:
“Relax, man! You’re two tents!”
