During lunch at work, I indulged in a few too many servings of beans (which I know I probably shouldn’t have).
When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
“Darling, I have a surprise planned for dinner tonight.”
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat, and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were starting to have an effect, and the pressure was becoming uncomfortable, so while my husband was out of the room, I seized the opportunity and released a rather audible and pungent result of my bean-filled lunch.
I quickly tried to dissipate the odor by fanning the air around me with my napkin.
Unfortunately, the need for relief persisted, and I continued to let them rip over the next few minutes. Better to let it all out before the husband returns.
Keeping an ear out for when my husband would return, I fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, replaced it on my lap, and folded my hands back on it, feeling somewhat better.
My face must have appeared quite innocent when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and to my surprise, ten dinner guests seated around the table greeted me with a chorus of “Happy Birthday!” while trying their best to subtly cover their noses.