Jokes about Retirement
10.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eyeglass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
9.
What did Jesse Owens say when he retired?
“I had a good run.”
8.
“I have a ton of jokes about retired people.”
None of them work.
7.
Why don’t drummers come out of retirement?
Too many repercussions.
6.
How do you know you are old enough to retire?
Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it!
5.
Wait, you’re leaving?
I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car!
4.
What did the pirate say when he retired?
I’m eighty! (Aye, matey)
3.
What does retirement mean to old people?
“It means I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today”
2.
Why did John return to work?
Because in retirement, he never got a day off.
1.
At John’s retirement party, his manager stood up and said
“I’d like to say a word about John.”
He paused for everyone to go quiet, then continued:
“Plethora.”
There was a moment of confusion before John turned to him and said:
“Thank you, that means a lot”.
